Adjusting to adulthood (not quite an adult’s guide)

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I learnt today that when you take a break from blogging you should never just come back with familiar content but rather something meaningful. So here goes. 

One of the hardest parts about becoming an adult is knowing when you are one. Lets be honest, we were all walking around at 16 thinking we were at the height of our mature levels. Little did we know that four years and many dye jobs later that we would still be stressing over career prospects.

So when can we officially classify ourselves as adults? Is it when we turn 18 and legally become adults, is it when we start working 9-5 or is it when we move out of home? Because I don’t know whether doing £1.50 Sambuca shots every other night makes the cut. I think the truth is, it kind of just happens, there isn’t one specific moment when you get to decide. We learn and we adapt and I guess that’s what makes us grow.

With just eight months left until I graduate, I have finally come to realise that university has allowed me to have all the benefits of being an adult without actually having to deal the scary things such a tax. I mean, I think whacking out £8 every other week for gas and electricity is a lot, I dread to think what it will be like when I have to pay an entire phone bill. So I guess that means that I’m not really an adult, right? I’ve just matured a bit over the years.

But I think one of the truly hardest things about growing up is watching friends become strangers. Those people who we walk past in the street with an acknowledging nod… yeah they were our best friends four years ago. Those friends who you promised you would always stay in touch with… you probably don’t even know them any more. At some point you start to blame yourself. You meet new people who are still good friends with those they went to school with, but you quickly come to learn that they are just extremely lucky. This isn’t say that you won’t keep in touch with anyone, I still cherish some of the girls I grew up with and they will always having a special place in my heart. But the chances you becoming The Sex in the City girls and drinking Champaign at midday is very slim.

We grow and learn and sometimes that means we just grow apart. It doesn’t mean you hate each other or that you can’t meet up for a bevvy every now and then but you have to accept a part of becoming an adult means that your time becomes limited. We have to prioritise, if we didn’t, we would be juggling an awful lot. Most true friends will understand this, but if they don’t then that says more about them than it does you. So try and not feel too bad when they give you grief. It happens.

I guess another part of growing up is actually understanding the meaning of friendship. Cheesy right? When we were younger we thought everyone we spoke to was our friend. You might have been lucky and fell into one of those friendship groups that got invited to parties every other weekend, so naturally everyone there was your mate. How wrong we were. As a part of growing up you have learn (quite quickly) the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. You have to learn that even though there are many people surrounding you, they are not all your friends and sometimes it does more harm than good to believe they are.

But does learning the “true meaning of friendship” really make you adult. No, not at all. It’s just another hard lesson you have to learn in the process. I’m sure income tax will be harder. I guess what I am trying to say is that growing up isn’t as easy as “well you’re an adult now”, it’s a process and it’s hard. However, it seems that those who should be enjoying their childhood are trying to grow up way to quickly and those of us who should be getting ourselves together are watching Disney movies with an extra large glass of wine (or beer) instead of facing our responsibilities. But at least we learnt how to drink wine out of a glass, right?

 

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