I haven’t uploaded a blog post in three weeks and I feel it’s about time to explain why. This blog has no photos and fancy sentences, just me treating it as my diary. So if whiny, boring posts aren’t your cup of tea, I’d probably scroll past this one…
Do you ever go about your day-to-day life and feel completely trapped? As I’m now officially a final year student, to say I’m terrified is an understatement. Not because of uni, but the fact that the big wide world is coming for me and quickly. This time last year, I was so excited to finish university and start my career, but as it’s rapidly becoming a reality, the expectations and constraints are seriously hitting home.
Within the past week, the question “so what are your plans after uni?” has gone from something of a joke to a rather depressing conversation. Every person I bump into, every phone call, there’s no avoiding it anymore. But that’s not the problem. It’s planning my life based on what others think is the correct thing for me to do that is the problem. Everything I’m doing right now, I’m doing because I feel I have to. I’ve always been taught that I can be whoever I want to be but as the time to choose is approaching, I’m realising that this isn’t true. Everyone says “do want makes you happy” but if it doesn’t work around what they think is “acceptable” then it’s a no go.
Even my happy place on the Internet has become something of a misery. Blogging is what I love to do and quite frankly if I could quit everything and just blog for the rest of my life then I’d be happy. Over the past few weeks, I felt as if I was blogging for the sake of blogging, I wasn’t happy with anything I was writing, why? Because I was doing it because I felt I had to. I tried to convince myself that I started this blog in order to get noticed by companies but the reality is, I blog because it’s what I love to do and for no other reason. I started this blog, writing about freshers events and the great nights out I was having. The fact that it has adapted into a beauty blog is because that’s what I love writing about not because I was told I had to into order to get a job. I started up a Youtube channel (sorry for not sharing that one), but started it during the time when I felt forced to do it was probably a bad decision. Two videos uploaded and two weeks of nothing.
Now at the end of this blog post, I haven’t magically decided my plans for the future because quite frankly, I have no idea what I want to do when I leave university. I don’t think anyone does. But all I do know is that I will continue this blog and try and get my Youtube up and running, because it’s what I want to do. If anything does come of creating content a couple of times a week then great, it’s a win win!